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Friday, August 3, 2007

delhi diaries...people post!

people people everywhere but a soul to talk to!

Its surprising that we live in such a populated country and make such high demands of personal space.its good that mental and emotional space has no physical proportions or we would be at war perpetually.

I realised how i keep such a grim face every morning on my way to work.......i would hate that i would have to return someones smile.I keep my hands crossed and look like im having my worst day ever.I snap at poeple who ask me for directions and cut short all conversations to the minimum.I walk like i have so many places to go and so much to do. I keep quiet at work so that i dont give away too much about myself. I come back home and am too tired to make day passes without me even smiling and weeks pass before i realise what i have been upto.
We seem to be so on guard all the time, skeptical of everyone around us, wary of making conversation and so full of temper and impatience all the time.
I stood, a mute audience to a scene where an angry driver pulled over and upturned a mango cart ......the reason was stupid and no one volunteered help.neither did i. It made me wonder the estranged lives we lead and the respect we pay to other people around us. I am not saying "be a doormat" but why be so critical all the time....why be so cold..???............It makes me question the person i want to be and the values i want to keep with me. My parents never articulated the upbringing they gave me in words but it certainly wasnt geared to turn out to what this city was moulding me into.
A woman outside a trial room coaxed me into a conversation and it took me 5 mintues to return her warmth. when an unknown person smiles at you, offers you a perfectly clean favour or just changes your day with a bright conversation...our faith gets reinforced in all the things we get disillusioned about.
i love the feeling...and the woman (whose name i dont know) outside the trial room got me hooked to this and has made me an advocate of it.n I only wish i would be more open so as to practise it.

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