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Thursday, May 3, 2007

me aur meri tanhai!

I saw a poster by VOICEBOX requesting articles ….it didn’t say anything about the topic I chose to write but what the poster communicated to me was different. It said : “draw an article” …..well… looking back at it I don’t know I the poster was successful or not but it got me to think about something.
In the first six months of foundation…life is literally hell…you have no clue where you are or what you are doing and you surprise your self each day at your new found sadness which reasons itself as homesickness ,anxiety , stress ,the incapability to cope or sheer lack of skill. I suffered the lack of skill syndrome. I shuddered the thought of holding a pencil…it would mean to draw and eventually be humiliated in a class of 58 where everyone seemed to be blessed with the most jaw dropping drawing skills…….it was a constant battle to be confident and keep up the appearance of it and dive deep in to search for it everytime it took a beating………somewhere along the line…I gave up being bothered by it……I couldn’t care less….well….i couldn’t draw and so I wont…..
I detested sitting infront of leaves that didn’t seem to communicate to me, forget inspiring me to document them on a creamy white catridge sheet. I realized at the end of a drawing session that all my trees looked the same and all my heads were round. It was a dysfunction and sometimes when u cant cure it ……u live with it!!!!! So I was……until “mujhe mila HOW magazine ka ek anmol article…it changed my life forever…”
I’m sorry this has to sound like such a self help moment but the one HOW magazine that I accidently picked up featured this article by someone I don’t know who spoke about drawing…..and it was interesting…….the writer spoke about how drawing enriches our lives and how it gifts us the eye of observation and so makes insignificant moments more precious…… the end of it all was hunky dory , made good read, kept me company on a hot summer afternoon when I was close to stapling my eyelids to my eyebrows lest I fall asleep…but nothing more ………
It took me the chai gate and the severe lack of company that drove me to draw my first bit… was uninhibited, it had no sense of proportion, no sense of direction, it didn’t posses squat of line quality but it was honest…it was exciting and was gripping,.almost like a thriller novel……just no murder involved here……
I started to draw more and more…..on vacations I went to, in restaraunts I visited, in parties I attended, in bbc gathering….i got condemned for being anti social and not providing my bunch with the entertainment from my incesssent chatter ……
Now looking back at it…I love that I started doodling again………this was how I had passed through my 10 years at school through ugly and morose chem. and math classes…this was what kept me awake and alive and frankly it offers you the world ……u can draw whatever want……….courtesans, old ladies that you watch when u return on the bus, witches that fly or places you have never seen…its fantastical and its beyond the real and boring…..I’m sorry if sound so gung ho about it but it’s a world I have recently discovered and thus my excitement is justified. It gives you the power of expression without imposing the rules of proportion and technicalities of fine artistic tastes and expectations. Its like the poor mans soul which rebels against the wealthy and the privileged. You have voice that speaks more than one language….it teaches you that one doesn’t have to be know the rules to play the game…. The beauty which lies in the flaws…in the fact that it stemmed from the not knowing how to draw………its probably not as romantic as I picture it to be….. but it has made life more visually appealing. Amen to that.


sayerhs said...

I agree with what you say. You've managed to echo my sentiments, except a lot more eloquently! :)

karan said...

nammo, u write well.
wen i started reading this post, i didn't expect for nuts to reach all the way down till the end. but to my surprise i did,, it grasped my senses well.

btw... hv u any records of the article? which issue, or the author, or the kmc book no.?